Monday, December 10, 2012

#vision2012 Revisit: Maintain/Connect

"Maintain relationships with friends and loved ones. Make new connections."
Looking back on this particular goal, I'm pretty sure I used "maintain" as a euphemism. I probably thought that cut off, release, end sounded way too harsh and negative.
Even as I re-read the sentence, I think I subconsciously knew that I needed to rid myself of stagnant relationships. How do I know this? I wrote make new connections and I often found myself feeling {insert emotion here} when:
  1. there was a lack of (or no) communication
  2. I only heard from a person when something was needed 
  3. I called, left a voicemail and received a "What's up/How are you?" text after hanging up. {blank stare} 
  4. I receive a message asking if everything is okay, because I haven't updated my FB status lately. {side eye}

My relationships were always a priority for me. Social media was not my primary way to catch up, a phone call was. I would feel guilty about a missed birthday, anniversary, or milestone celebration. Yes, life was busy, but not too busy for the people that I cared about.
Then my aha! moment occurred in mid-June. I seriously needed to cut myself some slack. The undue stress was mounting and for what? Nothing. It was my own fault. I held on to people that should've been cut off {insert time frame here} ago. 
I will admit this particular journey has been the most difficult. Saying goodbye has never been easy for me. I wanted to hold on, but God had other plans. The pruning process had begun. 
During this time, I discovered: 
  • that a friendship of convenience doesn't interest me.
  • toxic behavior will keep me at bay.
  • once you "show" me who you are the first time, I'll definitely believe you.
  • I can't and won't be the only person putting forth effort into my relationships. 
  • I have many friends acquaintances.
  • some unlikely people have become my biggest supporters and confidants.
  • in his process of removing, God was also restoring.
The following passage from In the Meantime written by Iyanla Vanzant is one my favorites. It reads:
 "What you believe about yourself is reflected in the people with whom you choose to align yourself. Each choice provides you with the opportunity to act in accordance with the hightest essence of your being, the soul. Our relationships, and the people in those relationships, are the tools God uses to give us a soul lift. God, the creator of your life, wants you to elevate the way you view yourself and treat yourself, and ulitmately the way you treat others and allow them to treat you."
I'm so thankful for the release, and blessed my alignments.
This process was, in one word - liberating.


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